Of watching cartoons and getting married
POSTED AT 05:30 PM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

I am thinking about marriage lately. Not that I want to get married but how I perceive it as threat and a dead-end road to young couples. I am not bitter at all (I believe). It's just that there is more to life than getting married (again, I believe). I have seen enough of young couples striving to keep up with life and at the same time raising a family. I am not even surprised to hear that some of them have pending annulment cases at the RTC. I know some parents who experienced buying formula for their grand kids. Although they never complain about it, I just think that even before having baby, a couple must make sure they are able to support the needs of the baby.
Getting married is every girl's dream. Wearing a long white bridal gown and elegant heirloom jewelries, walking down the red carpet while Jim Brickman's The Gift is playing, seeing the groom smiling as if too proud to see the his bride, thus, making every well-wisher teary-eyed. Who wouldn't want that? Who never imagine of sunsets at porch with your partner? Who never wish to dance under the rain with the one you truly love? Who never think of sharing hot choco drink in one huge mug while browsing your grandkids' photo albums? Who never dream of and-they-lived-happily-ever-after ending?

No one.

Everyone (that includes me) wants to have a happy and fulfilled married life. It's just that I believe one must be physically, financially, and emotionally ready before even thinking about it. Raising a family is not like taking Math 11 that when you decide that you don't like your instructor, you ask for a dropping form from the College Secretary knowing that the said course will be offered next Sem. Getting married is not like directing a play that when you do not like what the actors are doing during rehearsal, you just exclaim "Cut!" with all you might. Having a family is as serious as deciding whether or not to pass the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain in Mindanao. There are gazillion of things to consider. There may be even plans or dreams to set aside.

-sigh-

Well, I guess we all have our priorities in life and I respect that. I cannot barge inside the church and tell the priest to stop the ceremony simply because I think that the groom and bride are too young to get married. I am not to decide on whether it the right time for them exchange vows. It's their life, it's their choice. I am just a mere spectator.
But then again.... Argh...

Whatever. I must be watching too much cartoons.

Listening to: silence
Feeling: contemplative

In Need: Positive Reinforcement
POSTED AT 07:00 PM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

Listening to: Grace Nono's Baleleng

Trapped Inside Me
POSTED AT 06:33 AM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

Feeling: anxious

Skul Bukul
POSTED AT 12:11 PM in etcetera etcetera

Sitta

Bahay Kubo Kahit Munti
POSTED AT 01:12 PM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

Just got back from Nueva Ecija.

I took a 5-day leave.

With what happened to me in the past few weeks, I badly needed it to keep my sanity intact.

Cliché as it may be but I would say, there is no place like home.

It is the only place where I can get the greatest comfort when the world turns its back from me.

It is where my tears are meant for joyful events.

It is where laughter is the music that serenades my heart and soul.

It is where dreams my are built together with my loved ones.

It is where my success is celebrated.

It is where I find my avid fans who give me a standing ovation even if I always miss the last note my song.

It is where there is a complete absence of danger from the outside world.

It is where love is the main source of life.

It is where I can be at my worst and yet be accepted wholeheartedly.

It is where hugs are overflowing like that of the coffee in our office pantry.

It is where respect for one another is crucial.

It is where men love women more than they love themselves (Cheers to my Papa, Kuya and Diko!).

It is where I will never get tired of traveling amidst the 7-hour drive from Makati City.

It is where happiness is apparent on little things like tuyo for an ulam, budding flowers from Mama's garden, croaking frogs in the rice fields, and ripe fruits at the backyard.

Is It Bad To Be Naive?
POSTED AT 06:23 AM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

On your way to school, you received a call from a fraternity brother. He told you he was in Quiapo for a research. You haven't seen him for some time, thus, when he invited you go to his hotel, you eagerly said yes. You didn't know where the hotel is located but because you liked him enough (as Maya, your friend would put it), you didn't mind at all. You even had to ask the bystanders of its location; even though making an eye contact with them was something you refused to do when you are in Quiapo. You didn't mind the inconvenience walking with your 3-inch pair of wedge. You just thought it was cool to see him again.

When you got to his room, you saw the papers scattered on his bed. You realized he never changed a bit. You caught yourself smiling. You missed those days when you and the rest of the Society would hang out in his place. After about 30 minutes, you decided to go. You didn't want to be late for your class. But before you left, he invited you for a dinner. Again, you happily accepted the invitation.

On that day, your teacher decided to dismiss you early. Thus, at 8:30PM you went straight to the hotel. You had dinner at the fast food next to it. You think it was cheap. But you didn't mind. After all it was his treat. The two of you went back to his room after dinner. Although you had an early morning shift the following day, you still went with him. You thought it was okay since you don't get to see him often. You thought you had a lot of catching up to do. You asked him about the Society, UP, professors, and the like.

Not long enough, you told him you wanted to go home. It was getting late. He asked you stay. You refused. He tried to convince you one more time. At that point he became touchy. You felt his arms around you shoulder. You tried to pull away. He continued nudging you. By then, you felt the danger. Your heart sank. Your stomach churned. You realized that you had to be out of that place soon. You realized you were too naïve not see all these coming. You scolded yourself for ignoring the signals. You felt bad for yourself. Really bad. Guilt was eating you up. You thought that you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if something bad happened to you.

In spite all these, you tried be calm. You explained to him that you had to go. Of course, you didn't have the heart to embarrass the person whom you had given your trust and respect. But your heart was bleeding. You remembered how pure your intention was when you went to see him. You felt the hatred starting to build up in your heart. It was then when you stood up. Inside the elevator, he acted as if nothing happened. You realized that you could no longer contain the disappointment for what he did.

You got home safe. That night you reassessed the values you learned from the Society. You also tried to look into the values taught by your parents. You did a careful thought on these matters. You came up with a conclusion: You are keeping the values your parents taught you, not because you are a conformist but because you are a deviant in your own right.

 

Feeling: totally disapponted!

Paulo Coelho's Issue n*177
POSTED AT 05:08 AM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

Why women believe that we love them

In this case the title of the newsletter is not right. Since in the previous Warrior of Light Online I said refused to write about the reasons why men love woman (I would be considered a male chauvinist South-American writer who despises the liberation movement of the opposite sex), a reader called Julia decided to do it for me. So now we have the feminine version of why we love women. Of course, I don’t agree with everything, but this is a (relatively) free tribune. Let’s see what Julia has to tell us: We men love women because they still feel they are adolescents even after they grow old. Because they smile every time they pass a child. Because they walk down the street erect, always looking straight ahead, never turning round to say thanks or return the smile or compliment we make when they pass by. Because they are bold in bed, not because they have a perverse nature but because they want to please us. Because they do everything necessary for the house to be tidy and perfect, and never expect any recognition for the work they have done. Because they don’t read pornographic magazines. Because they don’t complain about the sacrifices they make for the sake of the ideal of beauty, facing up to waxers, Botox injections and menacing machines in gyms. Because they prefer to eat salads. Because they draw and paint their faces with the same concentration as Michelangelo working on the Sistine Chapel. Because if they want to know something about their own appearance, they ask other women and don’t bother us with this type of question. Because they have their own ways of solving problems, which we never understand, and that makes us mad. Because they feel compassion, and say “I love you” precisely when they are beginning to love us less, to make up for what we can feel and notice. Because sometimes they complain about things that we feel too, such as colds and rheumatic pains, and then we understand that they are people just like us. Because they write love stories. Because while our armies invade other countries, they remain firm in their private and inexplicable war to put an end to all the cockroaches in the world. Because they cry their eyes out when they hear the Rolling Stones singing “Angie”. Because they are capable of going to work dressed like men, in their delicate little suits, whereas no man would ever dare go to work wearing a skirt. Because in the movies – and only in the movies – they never take a shower before making love with their partners. Because they always manage to find a convincing defect when we say that another woman is pretty, making us feel insecure about our taste. Because they really take seriously everything that is happening in the private lives of celebrities. Because they manage to fake orgasms with the same artistic quality as the most famous and talented of movie stars. Because they just love exotic cocktails with different colors and delicate little ornaments, while we always have the same old whiskey. Because they don’t waste hours thinking about how they are going to approach the pretty young man who has just come on the bus. Because we came from them, will go back to them, and until that happens, live in orbit around the feminine body and soul. And I would add: we men love them for being women. As simple as that. check out: http://www.warriorofthelight.com/

Feeling: contemplative

POSTED AT 06:58 AM in of flowers and butterflies

Sitta

I am keeping the VALUES my parents taught me;

not because I am a conformist but because I am deviant in my own right.

Feeling: contemplative

Currently...
POSTED AT 07:48 AM in etcetera etcetera

Sitta